The Epicenter of the Snowstorm Universe
When a reporter wants to hit the hole with maximum impact on the story about the upcoming Solid Precipitation Event of (insert year here), there’s only one place to go…
The salt pile.
We’ll see two ways to do this. The right way and the wrong way. First, Gus Rosendale over at WTAE attempts to deliver the impending message of doom by using snow’s longtime nemesis… and fails miserably at it.
Not a good sign out of the gate. You can see Wendy Bell laughing at his efforts immediately. Either that or her plan to destroy Pittsburgh with her weather machine is coming along perrrrrrrfectly.
He talks to Bob Crawford, the hero of this epic battle. Note aforementioned salt pile in the background, though not the main protagonist in this piece.
In a desperation move and sensing he may be losing his audience, he actually gets in a plow to go through the operation of the vehicle. In my opinion, moving away from the salt pile was his fatal move. Plus, I don’t know what it is about Gus that bothers me. Maybe it’s his looks… he reminds me of Anthony Edwards with hair… or Jeffrey Jones. Oh… maybe that’s* why.
Now let’s see the right way with that tall drink of water at KDKA, Stephanie Watson.
Bob Crawford is back, and gives Steph the rundown on what Penndot is up against. You can see the weapon of choice in the background, and Bob’s nearly materialized thoughts that this is the best piece to ass to come around the pile in a loooong time.
Three things immediately come to mind. First, the foreboding of the impending storm in this shot scares the shit out of me… yet I’m reassured by the amount of salt Penndot has. An incredibly massive amount of salt.
Second, I would have paid a hundred bucks to see the cameraman get his ass on top of that mound for the shot.
Third, Stephanie is one tall woman.
She looks cool, confident, and maintains position with the salt pile behind her. (Watch the video for the money shot at the end, the salt loading into the dump truck!) I’m digging her jacket and tasty turtleneck.
As they say in Cannonball Run, “And that’s the way it’s done.”
BREAKING NEWS! Tamika “Tiki” Artist from PXI was just seen at the salt pile. No video is available, but maybe Anthony can cover that since that’s his girl.
* I seem to remember Jeff being busted for having child pornography. I could be wrong.
You know, you’d think we’ve never seen snow before. The way everyone’s talking, I keep waiting for a couple of those apocalyptic horsemen to ride down my street.
Yes…Jeffrey Jones is a pervert:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0702041jones1.html
Okay. I am just self-centered enough to do this…
Back in the sexy-heady days of 2004, I wrote this little gem for Pittsburgh Magazine semi-tackling this very issue. It was #20 in the “50 Great Ideas for a Better City.” Enjoy:
20. CHILL OUT, meteorologists! As winter approaches every year, TV weather reports seem to get scarier and scarier. Storms aren’t just predicted, they must be “tracked” like wild beasts. Roadways aren’t just slippery, they are covered in “black ice,” a substance so evil that it masks itself as patches of normal roadway in order to trick unsuspecting Pittsburghers. Does winter really need to be a march into an epic battle? Let’s try a new concept next year: weather reports that don’t frighten folks into buying a week’s worth of canned goods until it’s actually pretty certain that we’re gonna be snowed in.
You may feel free to sing my praises until your throat is sore.
Mike, this was an awesome entry. Seriously awesome. You nailed it.