Five hours. Twenty-six minutes. Thirty-eight seconds.
While that’s definitely not world-record time for a marathon, I consider it a great achievement. It’s the time that it took for our entire team to run the Pittsburgh Marathon.
First, a flashback to scenes before the race itself:
One night during the week of the race, just before bed, the news highlighted the upcoming preparations for the Pittsburgh Marathon. I looked over to my wife who was giving me this You’veGotToBeKiddingOMGTHEMARATHONISSUNDAYYOUREGOINGTODIE look. I just sighed and said, “I know.”
She was concerned, to say the least. And, with good reason: My training regimen that I had planned on executing on never materialized. Between my lack of discipline, being enormously busy (although not too busy if I had gotten up at 6 AM to run), and certain personal crises… I just didn’t get it done. I did run once – 3/4 of a mile… and I felt pretty good.
The night before the race itself, I was filled with dread. I had a cold (which I thought was allergies at the time), I was only going to get 5 hours of sleep, and I was in all likelihood going to be carried off the course.
Fast forward to moments before I’d see @shireman come down the stretch to my relay point. It had rained steadily most of the morning, and was now more than a drizzle but not quite a downpour. Hours of standing was taking its toll. Then I saw Jim and IMMEDIATELY adrenaline kicked in. I gave him his medal in true Olympian fashion and just started running.
All the while I was waiting for the other shoe to drop (no pun intended). Waiting for my body to tell me to stop running before I’d even hit a mile.
But it didn’t. I got to the first mile marker and felt OK. I thought, “Holy shit! I just ran a mile! Let’s see how far I can take this.” I got to about a mile and a half and felt GREAT. I understood at that point why runners enjoy running – it was a bit euphoric. I felt great.
Once I got to just shy of two miles, that euphoria was replaced by pain developing in my feet and a cramp in my right leg. I had to start walking. While disappointed that was what stopped me instead of involuntary vomiting, I still was very happy.
I alternated running and walking for the next four miles, until running in an all-out painful sprint to handoff to @jimlokay for the final leg.
The tale of the tape:
@adriennemcc + @kdudders(the marathon meter lumped their two legs together): 12:28/mile over 11.4 miles
@shireman: 12:15/mile over 4.6 miles
@woycheck: 12:49/mile over 5.9 miles
@jimlokay: 12:09/mile over 4.32 miles
The worst time split of the group, but I’m pleased.
The BEST NEWS of all: We raised approximately $1,380 for the Mario Lemieux Foundation. That number could actually be doubled if Equitable matches our fundraising effort. We’re keeping our fingers crossed.
To those of you who donated or cheered us on: we thank you all for your support!
Several weeks ago, I received an direct message on Twitter that caused me to do a double, no, make that a triple take. It was from @adriennemcc who started it by asking, “Do you run at all?”
I do Pittsburgh Sports League flag football once a year, participate in the Yinz Team softball exhibition games when I’m able, and of course play in the Yinz Team Annual Flackle Bowl. In my mind’s eye, I like to think that I’m a reasonably fit individual.
So when the rest of her message asks if I’d like to participate in a 5-person team relay for the Pittsburgh Marathon, I envision the experience being something like this:
Then, of course, I think about it a little more. I think about my age. I think about how long I’ve sustained a run in the past two decades. Then, reality sets in.
Nevertheless, against my better judgement and most actuarial tables, I have agreed to participate as part of the Official Yinz Team Pittsburgh Marathon Relay Team. Who makes up this improbable roster, you may ask? None other than TheJim from Sportsocracy Fame, the dynamic duo of @adriennemcc and @kdudders, local suhwebwitty (spelled phonetically) and KDKA’s own Jim Lokay, and yours truly. The task is for each of us to raise as much money as we can to benefit the Mario Lemieux Foundation (which, of course, you know is near and dear to my heart) and travel 5 miles under our own power to complete our leg of the race.
I have two personal and primary objectives for this, given that it is March 22nd and I have about 6 weeks until race day:
- I would like to run 2 of the 5 miles.
- I would like to not throw up at any point during the race.
Let’s put this all in context – I haven’t run a mile since the year Bill Clinton took office.* Yeah, now you know why my wife is terrified.
Shameless fundraising plug – I’ll have a link on the blog shortly that will serve as an information hub for our little fundraiser. We’re going to have t-shirts printed and will be selling space to companies on the back who would like to sponsor us. Price? $100. Hey – it’s tax-deductible! Watch HaGS for more info on how to donate.
We’ll see you in May.
* Fun Woy Fact- in that same year I ran a mile in 6:30. Then promptly did a technicolor yawn in the boy’s bathroom.
As everyone who has a mailing address has no doubt discovered – the United States government was kind enough to send every household in America a letter. To be specific, the Department of Commerce and the 2010 United States Census did. The letter told us all to hold our collective breath and wait for the imminent arrival of the 2010 Census survey. That we should definitely fill it out or we might not enjoy the fruits of gerrymandering and political infighting for pork barrel dollars.
But I digress.
I remember there being a furor the last time the government sent us a letter telling us that they would be sending something to us: the Economic Stimulus notice that let us know we would be receiving a refund check from the government. While that also was a significant waste of money, it could at least (kind of) be perceived as somewhat serving a purpose.
Here’s a hypothetical from that scenario – the government sends a letter to an individual letting them know they will be receiving a refund and that person has moved. If the person has not left a forwarding address and that letter gets returned to sender – at least there’s a (snowball’s) chance that the government will know that they have moved and maybe not send a check at all. Or, on the other hand, if they have left a fowarding address and it gets to the person – said person might at least know to expect it in case it would get lost in the handoff.
I know. I’m reaching.
But at least I can understand something that’s ACTIONABLE.
The Census letter, on the other hand, makes absolutely no sense because there’s nothing actionable about it. The letters are addressed to “Household” or “Resident”. They aren’t addressed to a person. There’s no decideable outcome if the letter isn’t delivered, if it is delivered (and it’s a different person there), or if it reaches the “right” person. They’re STILL going to send the Census anyway.
It’s awareness advertising. Shamelessly wasteful and expensive advertising. The outcome is that it pissed off far more people than they would have caused to say, “Oh, the Census is coming. I should fill it out.” No doubt the weird Christopher Guest-esque commercials celebrating the Census were more effective. Maybe.
There are times where government is inefficient and there are times that government is just plain stupid.
I think we know which one it is.
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