Ever wonder when you can make water in the movie theater? RunPee tells you how.
(Thank you IWatchStuff)
Brother Anthony (of no blog) brought to my attention a movie that has generally been thought of to be a pretty bad movie but has experienced a cult renaissance over the time since it’s release: Joe Vs. The Volcano. While probably not making my top ten, it’s definitely up there as one of my favorite movies. And since the last four out of five posts have been about movies, why not cover my favorite moments from it?
Joe freaks on Mr. Waturi: After being reprimanded by Mr. Waturi for his long lunch, Joe decides to quit. After Waturi says he’ll “be easy to replace”, Joe pauses and says what runs through (I’m sure) many a head when a nasty occupational remark is thrown their way: “I should say something”. He does, culminating with this gem -
Joe: You look terrible, Mr. Waturi. You look like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap suit. Not that anyone could look good under these zombie lights. I, I, I, I can feel them sucking the juice out of my eyeball. Suck, suck, suck, SUCK… [makes a sucking noise] For 300 bucks a week, that’s the news. For 300 bucks a week, I’ve lived in this sink, this used rubber.
Waturi: Watch it, mister! There’s a woman here!
Joe: Don’t you think I know that, Frank? Don’t you think I’m aware there’s a woman here? I can taste her like sugar on my tongue. I can smell her. When I’m twenty feet away, I can hear the fabric of her dress when she moves in her chair. Not that I’ve done anything about it. I’ve gone all day, every day, not doing, not saying, not taking the chance for three hundred bucks a week, and Frank the coffee stinks it’s like arsenic, the lights give me a headache. If the lights don’t give you a headache you must be dead, so let’s arrange the funeral!
There are only two movies that I’ve ever walked out of a movie theater over.
- Last of the Mohicans: This was primarily because it was an extremely late showing (midnight) and I was meeting some old friends who never showed up. The prospect of watching Daniel Day Lewis and Madelene Stowe make 18th Century eyes at each other while falling asleep was not particularly appealing.
- Mac and Me: Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. I can’t believe Spielberg didn’t sue the pants off this monstrosity. And then there was the notorious excessive product placement. My friends and I kind of looked at each other and said “this blows” about 30 minutes in. Fortunately, the Red Baron arcade was just a few doors down where we played Gauntlet and kicked it old school.
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